![]() Never before have I gotten so many errors interrupting my gameplay. ![]() Often you'll be playing a level, and out of nowhere an error message will pop up. Something that is also mind-boggling is the amount of error messages I received while playing the game. It's a fast-paced mode that's not a big deal if you mess up, since you'll only be replaying a race that lasts no more than a minute or so. Here, you'll flip on your side as a bagel and roll through a race course and checkpoints. Bagel Race is easily the most enjoyable of the modes, although that's not saying much. Other modes like Zero-G, which is just as it sounds, have you propelling bread through a gravity free environment to toast yourself, and Cheese Hunt, where you search for pieces of cheese, are tedious and lacking the fun factor. In the end, it's just more frustration as it's difficult to get a moderate score. In practice you take control of a impossible to control loaf of French bread and do your best to flop around aimlessly knocking things over until the timer runs down. Rampage, which is like the Grand Theft Auto missions of the same name or Burnout's Showtime mode where you attempt to cause the most destruction possible, sounded great when I read the description. This prospect sounds promising, but they range from boring to just plain awful. There are plenty of other game modes in addition to the story. ![]() In many genres this wouldn't be a big deal, but when you're hanging from the ceiling with your Grip Meter about to run out, after which you'll fall into some hazard or other and die for the 2,488th time, a camera screw-up is the worst thing that could possibly happen. The camera would be stuck inside a cabinet, box or wall while I couldn't get view of my bread at all. While it mostly operated fine and you can maneuver it to further adjust the angle, when it was bad, it was bad. The camera is never there when you need it the most. One wrong button press or mis-flick of the joystick and you're going to ruin your nice slice of bread, fail the level, and, depending on how many times in a row this has occurred, possibly throw your controller through the nearest plate glass window. There is very little room for error here, especially in situations requiring tricky maneuvering. You're constantly gripping all of the top buttons with your fingers on, , and to control each corner of the bread as needed, making it downright uncomfortable to grasp the controller this way for long periods of time. To make matters worse, I Am Bread is accompanied by a poor control scheme and lackluster camera. It's the type of frustrating where the game as a whole is so unfun you wonder why you're bothering in the first place when you could be spending those precious moments occupying yourself with anything else on the planet instead of lunging a stupid piece of bread toward the nearest toaster. It's not like Dark Souls frustrating, where it's a good game that also happens to be challenging. While my first moments of I Am Bread were joyful and my face was exuberant with the hilarious prospect that I was playing a video game where the protagonist is a piece of bread, the novelty quickly wore off and the frustration set in with how hard and unfun this game is. ![]() It's about getting an A++ on a level, the highest award, instead of an E. But I Am Bread wants you to do it faster, better, and with more Deliciousness than the last time. To complete every level of every one of the various game modes will only take you a few hours. To complete all seven story levels wouldn't even take you an hour. Level failed.Īlthough there is a slight background story, told through pop-ups at the beginning of each level - a psychiatrist's notes of a patient who is convinced a loaf of bread is wreaking havoc in his house while he is away - I Am Bread isn't about a story or simply completing the game it's about perfection. Five second rule aside, no one wants to eat a piece of bread that's been on the floor. Sound easy? It's not - one wrong direction, putting too much or not enough power into your movement, or losing your grip, and you'll be on the floor in seconds. How does one get from the kitchen table to the toaster on the counter top? Well, a slice of bread doesn't have any appendages, so it all comes down to putting force into the right places to throw yourself around and grip to surfaces. While this may sound like some type of simulation or role-playing game, it's actually heavily physics-based. While you can dive into a sandbox tutorial if you like, which allows you to experiment with the various bells and whistles of being a doughy, delicious morsel, you can also jump straight into the life of a single slice of bread.
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